Cat Chef – New Reality TV Version of Human Iron Chef

Wow. What a dream we had today. We just had to write about it as soon as we woke from our nap. Well, it was really Marcella Mooshie’s dream. She’s such a foodie cat. So, I’ll let her tell it. Take it away M. Thanks Whitey. Okay. I dreamt that Whitey and I were chefs competing in “Cat Chef” the feline version of Iron Chef on the Food Network. Except, this aired on the Cat Network.  (Maybe we should try to start a Mooshie Network.)  Sorry to digress. Anyway, we were dressed in our chef attire including puffy hats. All our friends from Twitter were there. Dunkin_the_Cat was the show’s host. The judges included SirFudgeEsq, ConfuciusCat, and SusanBoylesCat. The production crew was a mix of dogs and cats. Toby_Cat directed the show. HudsonandMurphy dogs and MacandFuzCat were on cameras. Sir Barley dog, BusterConCat, CircusKitty and BrucetheCat handled lighting. A weird looking tarantula with purple stripes worked on sound. I’m not sure how he got into this dream.

So, the show opens. Cameras pan over the audience full of howling dogs and purring cats. Dunkin_the_cat welcomes everyone, introduces us and runs through the potential list of our competitors. Which cat team will test their culinary skills against us? The curtain lifts and it’s…Pasta_the_Cat and JavaTheCat.  They pounce down the stairs to stand by us while Dunkin_the_Cat reveals the secret ingredient for the competition. What delicious item could it be? Our bird friends Tweety_Tweeting and BirdyBirdie fly over and lift the cover off of a large tray. WHOA! It’s TUNA!! Our mouths water up. Yummy.

Dunkin_the_Cat meows “go” and we’re off. Oh, what do we cook? Because I’m such a foodie cat, I plan the meal and Whitey Mooshie assists with preparation. I decide to go with a grilling theme since I dreamt in summertime. We quickly pull together all the ingredients for a three course meal. We start with tuna-kabobs – chunks of beefy tuna on a stick with green peppers and cherry tomatoes. Whitey does a fabulous job putting that together and tossing it on the grill. I focus on the main dish – grilled tuna steaks with a side of honey Dijon sauce, little red potatoes and asparagus.  For dessert, we make green Jello in a tuna fish mould. (Cats usually don’t eat dessert. So, that’s all we could think up.)

Our competitors, Pasta_the_Cat and JavaTheCat prepare tuna cakes on top of mixed greens. (Okay, we’ve heard of salmon cakes, crab cakes…but, tuna cakes?) Their main dish is linguini with red sauce and tuna. Last, they make a dessert of tuna tartar decorated with catnip.

Time passes quickly. The audience is barking and meowing. We can hear all our Twitter friends in the audience cheering – MaxtheQuiltCat, CokietheCat, TerrytheCat, aimeeroo, Mozartdane, MrsMiggins_Cat, sadlovelyheart, TinyPearlCat, and IamButton. After nearly an hour of frenzy in kitchen stadium for cats, Dunkin_the_Cat gives us a five minute warning. Whitey and I scramble to put the finishing touches on the dishes. We’re so focused on our meal we have no idea what’s going on with our competitors. Well, except, at one point, we did hear Pasta_the_Cat  yell at JavaTheCat, something about the linguini not turning out al dente and having to re-do the pasta. Anyway, all of the sudden, a big horn sounds. It’s over. Cooking utensils must be down. We step away from the grill. We’re done. Now, it’s all up to the judges. (Commercial break – kitty litter, a pet store, air freshener and Tony Robbins’ new book on CD, “Ten Secrets of Successful Dogs & Cats”)

The show returns. Dunkin_the_Cat is seated at a table with the judges. We’re up first. As the judges nibble on our three courses, we stare in anticipation, hoping they’ll like it. SirFudgeEsq, a well known food critic in the feline culinary world, says overall the first two dishes are appealing to his palate. However, the green Jello is just fair. He wishes we had incorporated tuna into the dessert. ConfuciusCat, a wise sage and spiritual advisor to celebrity cats, says he’s more accustomed to simple foods and found the honey Dijon sauce a bit too spicy for his palate. But, he loves the green Jello.  SusanBoylesCat, famous feline songstress, says that she enjoyed everything. But, she could not finish the entire meal since she has to save room for our competitors’ dishes. So, she asked for a doggie bag.

Next, the judges taste the three courses prepared by Pasta_the_Cat and JavatheCat. SusanBoylesCat speaks first.  She likes everything and asks for another doggie bag. Also, she needs to dash because she’s a judge for America’s Got Talented Cats. She’s supposed to meet David Hasselhoff before taping the show. SirFudgeEsq praises the tuna cakes and tuna tartar dessert. But, he finds the linguini to be overcooked. ConfuciusCat also lauds the first course and dessert. He says the tomato sauce is too spicy. The tasting is over and the judges vote.

It’s time to announce the winner. The two chef teams stand on either side of Dunkin_the_Cat. The show’s executive producer, Snowydaze, reviews the scores, whispers in Dunkin_the_Cats’ ear. Then he says, “The new Cat Chef is…..THE MOOSHIES!!!!” We win! We’re so excited. All the cats give us congratulatory nose taps. We shake paws with our opponents. We’re still good anipals with them. Dunkin_the_Cat gives us special medals and announces all the fun prizes…free supply of cat food for a year, gift certificates for pet massages, professional litter changing service for six months (our mommy likes this one) and a new set of cooking ware.

What a nice dream, especially that part about winning the pet massages.


One Response to Cat Chef – New Reality TV Version of Human Iron Chef

  1. I definitely like your dream.

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