Guest post from our anipal Nellie Belle’s mum and her stylist team.
Dear Fans of Nellie Belle the Magnificent Cat,
Greetings from the really, really, really super soggy, damp, wet Red Carpet of Hollywoodland!!! Or, as Californians like to say, “Whatever we’ve got here in the West that’s wet, you suckers in the East are gonna get, frozen!!”
After a long and restful hiatus, our Darling Nellie has decided to gift her legions of fans with her beautiful, sparkling presence at the 2014 Academy Awards! Nellie has been working out with her personal trainer, Jillian Michaels, who developed an intense and challenging special fitness program concentrating on Nellie’s core muscles and upper body strength. Movements include running madly up and down stairs with reckless abandon for no apparent reason (at midnight, which supposedly burns more calories), leaping up and down off the dining room table, and shoveling massive amounts of snow at her private estate in Delaware. It must be working, because my, she looks awesome!!!
And who is Nellie wearing? This year, Nellie has selected a dazzling silver and onyx beaded couture gown by Georgina Chapman of Marchesa, with a matchy-matchy velvet bow hat embellished with Swarovksi crystals. Her date this year is none other than that delicious, dashing hunk of Irish manliness, the superb actor Liam Neeson!
Actually, Liam was not Nellie’s first choice for her escort. She originally had asked Alec Baldwin, but lately the poor fellow has been struggling with anger issues and always seems to be distracted playing games on his iPhone, like, “Angry Words” and “Birds with Friends”. Nellie has no patience for any man who doesn’t give 100% of their attention to her sheer loveliness.
Then she considered that odd one – Walking Phoenix, or Joaquin Phoenix or whatEVER. But again, he, too, was spending way too much time with his “mobile device”, if you catch my drift. What is this world coming to when everyone seems super-glued to these gadgets instead of waking up and smelling the catnip??? >sigh< It’s just tres` tragic`.
So, Nellie called upon the sweet-natured but pensive Liam, and guess what? It looks like third time’s a charm, because, honestly, ladies, isn’t this Irish ruffian just absolutely swoon-worthy???
But wait! Who else is there on the Red Carpet with our ravishing Nellie Belle? Why, there’s Strider the Siamese Cat, all decked out in his Tom Ford bow tie! What a dashing dude! And those eyes! Meowee!!!
And look! It’s the Downton gals from across the Pond!!! Yes, sadly, it’s been a rough year for these lovelies, and they really really needed a break from all the drama and seemingly
endless cups of weak tea. I mean, talk about heartbreak! Poor Lady Edith, she’s been dumped more times than a snow pile, and now her latest paramour is M.I.A. in Deutschland. And naughty Lady Rose – her dalliance with the gorgeous American jazz singer nearly derailed her debutante gala. And itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny little Daisy, well, she’s just crying into her blood pudding and Cornish pasties over that young lad, Alfred. Ah, unrequited love, it’s a bitch, eh?
And there’s poor Anna, taking a wee breather from Mr. Bates, who seems to have found himself in yet another spot of trouble. Good thing his devoted wife held onto that “Free Mr. Bates” sign. She may very well need it again in Season 5! And thank heavens The Dowager Countess is here to chaperone these hapless lasses. She does appears a bit sour-faced, though, doesn‘t she? Could it be she doesn’t approve of the whole Hollywood scene, with all those starlets in Spanx instead of the proper corsets?
And finally, there she is, Lady Ellen. Oops, I mean, just Ellen. Quite possibly the funniest person on the planet. And she adores animals, which, of course, endears her to our sensational Nellie Belle the Magnificent Cat.
And so, Dear Fans, come rain, snow or sunshine – enjoy the Oscars and let Nellie know what you think of her choice of date, her gown and all her pals on the Red Carpet.
Nellie’s Chief Set Designer, Publicist, Stylist, Photographer & Mommy
With assistance from Patricia, Key Grip and Grandmommy